The Dead List
by Lavonia
Summary: Where do Naruto charactes go when they die? To their own dimension of course!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Well, I havn't been doing an updating lately, and I feel kinda bad about that; so I'm sorry. Enjoy the newest story!

The Dead List

By Lavonia

Zabuza and Haku sat in a drab waiting room while waiting for whoever had called them. The last thing that Zabuza remembered happening was the world going black after he killed the annoying drug dealer and made peace with Kakashi. He grunted and sat back while wondering where the hell the receptionist who had been at the desk only moments before had gone. She hadn't given him and Haku any details; just to sit and wait patiently. Unfortunetly, he wasn't a patient man.

"What the hell are we here for? Aren't we dead?"\

Haku looked up from the old magazine he was reading and smiled. "When I got here, the lady told me that whoever wanted to see us went out to lunch."

"We've been here for over and hour dammit!" He complained.

From outside the drab room, there were a few voices; one belonged to the receptionist from earlier and the other was a new deep tone. "Why didn't you come get me earlier?"

"I didn't want to bother you while you were busy eating."

"But they're the first ones!" The door opened and a blond man with striking blue eyes walked in with the dark haired and dark eyes woman trailing behind him. He quickly greeted the impatient pair. "Welcome! I've been waiting for somebody to get here."

"Excuse me, but where is here?" Haku asked politely.

"Ah yes, you probably want to know that. I don't know if you know this yet, but the both of you are dead."

"Of course we knew that! Now why the hell are we here?" The other man growled.

"I'm getting to that. Where we are…well, I guess you can call it heaven if you want. Everyone dies and goes to one of the offices. You two came to this one because you made an impact in Naruto Uzumaki's life."

"Why would that brat matter?"

"That 'brat' has a very successful destiny. He's special, and everyone who has made a large impact in his life comes here."

"If that's true, then you two have made an impact in his life?" Haku asked while looking at the receptionist and the man.

"Well," The woman scratched the back of her head. "We're his parents, so that's pretty important."

Zabuza, who had been carefully examining the blond man's face, jumped up. "Now I know where I saw you! You were the Leaf's Hokage; the annoying yellow flash."

"Being dead is much better; there's less paperwork." The blond said. "Now, step through that doorway. It will take you two to your new homes. You can do anything you want with them, just imagine." He opened the door and the two stepped in front of it. On the other side were only two houses in a large green meadow that stretched on endlessly.

"Hey what do we do until more people come?"

"Wait patiently." The blond shoved the both of them through the door. "Good luck!" Zabuza heard him say and the door slammed shut. The ninjas stood up and turned around, but the door had disappeared into thin air.

"Well, I guess we're going to have to wait for company!" Haku stated cheerfully and walked towards one of the houses to start his renovations.

"I HATE WAITING!" Zabuza roared towards the sky. "DAMN YOU YELLOW FLASH!"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Well, well, well. Here we are again. Enjoy!

The Dead List

By: Lavonia

Zabuza scowled while looking at the paint colors he could use for his kitchen. The sea green was a nice, pleasant color and would go well with the white cabinets he wanted, but navy blue also would look good too. He grunted while the colors kept changing back and forth and he tried to come to a decision.

"HAKU!" He shouted. The younger ninja appeared at his side at an instant. "Which color looks better?"

"The navy." Haku replied.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Zabuza looked out the window and noticed that two other houses had been built out of thin air. "Hey, it looks like two more people died." He bared his teeth in a savage like grin. "Now, I can attack that annoying blond Hokage!"

Haku sighed as his teacher ran out of his abode to try and sneak up on the door that had appeared in the middle of a cobble stone town center. The door had appeared in the middle of a raised platform that had been constructed by itself after Zabuza and Haku had arrived.

The portal slowly started to open and Zabuza prepared to attack. Just as he was charging, he ran into something solid and invisible.

The damn yellow flash had built a barrier.

Zabuza growled and watched helplessly as the stupid Hokage let two more people in. They were both solemnly talking with the blond man who was carefully listening and nodding from time to time. After nearly half an hour the pair walked away into the nearly empty dimension and the invisible barrier dropped. He quickly got up from the sitting position he had taken and went to go see who the new arrivals were.

He was mortified when he discovered it was another Hokage.

He was talking with the man next to him though.

"Hayate, ever since we got here, your cough has gone away."

"Death has given me that comfort sir."

"Well Hayate, I'm going to go decorate my house. The counsel never would let me paint the Hokage tower lime green; they said it would allow enemies to locate us more easily."

"Very well sir, please enjoy your decorating." The younger man said and they both went their separate ways while ignoring the twitching Zabuza.

After a few minuets, the ninja from the hidden mist came back to his senses. "Who in the right mind would paint their house _lime green_?" He muttered to himself and quietly wondered if the Hokage job required for the ninja to be insane. The two Hokages he had seen were both completely out of their minds.

AN: REVIEW POR FAVOR!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I'm on a roll today. Happy 4th of July:

The Dead List

By Lavonia

"Got any aces?"

"Go fish!" The Hokage smiled slyly as Zabuza grudgingly drew a card. "Got any aces?"

"You stacked the deck old man!" Zabuza roared as he threw the card at the ex-Hokage. The man managed to dodge the deadly objectile which embedded itself into the back of his chair. "Forget this!" He quickly stomped away and left the grinning old man to collect the wildly thrown cards.

Since the two new arrivals had come, the town had grown. The road seemed to spiral around and jut out at some places as if it was waiting for people to die so it would make more houses. There was also a gym, a large hall, a park and a swimming pool set up around The Center where the door would appear when people died. The little town feeling began to irk Zabuza who preferred a quieter lifestyle.

His problems were only going to become worse.

One day, the door appeared again. The inhabitants of the small village, Zabuza, Haku, Hayate and Sandaime, gathered around the outside of the barrier that went around the door and watched as it slowly opened up.

"FUCK NO! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! LET GO OF ME!" A woman screamed and something small was thrown right through the barrier and Zabuza narrowly avoided the cursing projectile.

It was closely followed by four more strange people. One was a large guy with weird tuffs of hair sticking out of his hair. He fell flat on his ass while a set of twins stumbled out. The last who fell out was a guy with many arms who wore a dark scowl on his face.

"Have a nice time." The blond Hokage said sweetly from inside the doorway. "AND YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH YOUNG LADY!"

"FUCK YOU!"

And the door slammed closed.

The group groaned as it slowly got up. The small person who had been thrown was heavily cursing the Hokage as she dusted off her pants. Zabuza watched her with raised eyebrows and wondered how somebody so small could have a mouth so big.

"What the hell are you looking at you piece of shit?"

"Your ugly mug. It's so hideous I couldn't look away, except maybe to puke." He quickly countered.

"Well screw you jackass." She snapped and joined her friends.

Zabuza stood there and scratched the back of his head. "How the hell could somebody like _that_ have and affect on that that brat Naruto's life?" He sighed and went back towards his house, only to discover he had a new next door neighbor.

"Hell no." He heard her shriek when he came into sight. "I'm not living next to that bitch! Trade with me Fatso!"

"No. And watch your language."

"Shut up Jiroubou." She yelled and walked into her new home, slamming the door behind her.

The fat guy walked up to Zabuza. "Sorry about her. She's an annoying little wench."

"Why did you put her in that house?" The Mist ninja asked out of curiosity.

"Because none of us wanted to live next to her." The larger guy replied.

"Thanks a shit load." Zabuza muttered.

"With a mouth like that, the two of you will get along well."

There was an awkward silence for a moment before a bright light shone from the center and the door appeared again. A teenager with white hair stepped out of the portal while talking with the blond Hokage who gave him a cheerful farewell before nicely closing the door.

Jiroubou walked over to greet him. "It took you long enough to get here."

"I shouldn't be here in the first place. My body should have been a vessel for Lord Orochimaru." The white haired guy sighed, but shrugged it off and walked to the newest house.

From another house came the sounds of arguing.

"You two share a fucking body! Give me your extra house!"

"We aren't sharing anymore. The both of us couldn't reach an agreement."

"He wanted oak cabinets in his kitchen but I wanted cherry, so we both decided to go our separate ways."

"You are both shit heads!" Then the red head went back to her house.

Haku poked his head out of the kitchen window of his house and looked over at Zabuza. "Want to come over for dinner?"

"Nah, I have some stew cooking at my house. Maybe tomorrow." He replied.

"We have to cook for ourselves?" The spider-like teenager whined. "Being dead sucks!"

AN: My first note is to review please. I really, _really_ appreciate those who do.

My second note is that I'm going out of the country for a trip this Saturday so I won't be able to update until after July 18th. Please be patient when I'm gone. I'll try to do a little brainstorming during my trip.


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